Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dan the man's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 18th, 2006
4:19 am	on amir's birthday I FUCKING HATE COLLEGE. college is the loneliest bullfeces ever. where is my little ginger? (Comment on this)
Friday, November 10th, 2006
3:22 pm	mr. fox on spin city I was reading my xanga and now i feel sad. I wrote about the crew and such as they were my life at that time. And Chafo. I had some random aim conversations posted, and other things. It all makes me feel so wretched. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 29th, 2006
11:07 pm	cry for mr. gleason I can't figure out the collar/yoke attatchment. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
1:12 am	oh. it's you. ughh. blow your face! Because it's the hip thing to do, I am updating for the first time since I decided to hermit and spend my time doing crafts. point- paint frog rock for Eligah point- go to BiTcH'n party with other teenagers. point- buy tickets to that fucking thing I don't want to go to. point- go to college There is a new monster in town that is more dangerous than any murderer. SYPHILLIS. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 7th, 2006
1:50 am	band song I just had to share how depressed I am after watching this [bazzare] minidocumentry called forgetting jonathon brandis and then later realising that he is bastian balthozar bux and also he is dead. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
10:15 pm	like after fucking a prostitute i am having serious buyers remorse after ordering a two hundred and seventy dollar button machine. so now i have a really expensive button machine. if anyone needs any buttons. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 27th, 2005
10:16 pm	good taste Salty seamen's erotic viewing blocks emergency radio Oops By Lucy Sherriff The crew of a fishing boat was whiling away a few lonely hours on the high seas watching a saucy film, not realising that they had left the radio transmitting on the emergency channel, thus blocking all Mayday radio comms for a 30-mile radius. As the salty seamen settled down to watch Crash - a tale involving people who find car crashes more erotic than do most - they managed to wedge the emergency radio channel open. Their chosen entertainment for the evening was thus broadcast across the airwaves for hours before coastguards dispatched a life boat to alert the men to their error, the BBC reports. The coastguard was also in contact with Channel Four, and asked the channel to broadcast a message to the sailors over the film. The lifeboat reached the crew just in time to prevent news of the cock-up being broadcast live to the nation. George Mair, skipper of the Oceania, apologised for the mistake. He maintains that the film was on in the background, and that he was working on the boat at the time. The BBC reports that he had "inadvertently jammed a clock radio into the switch that opened the emergency channel". A spokesman for Humber Coastguard said: "This should serve as a warning to others to be careful with their emergency radio switches." He added that it was lucky the seas had been so calm at the time. We would argue that it is also lucky that the Oceania's choice of onboard entertainment was as tame as it was. In his review of the 1997 film, Roger Ebert observed: "Take out the cars, the scars, the crutches and scabs and wounds, and substitute the usual props of sex films, and you'd have a porno movie. But 'Crash' is anything but pornographic." (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
9:31 pm	the lesser of the law and order incarnations this weekend i spent a lot of time with mandy. and billie called me a transfestite, as in a person who crosses from one festival to another. love, dan. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 9th, 2005
11:57 pm	so long father tom internet has been out. but have it now, am going go fidaddke fay and ans play text twist (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 25th, 2005
11:35 pm	the saltine challenge my sister makes "avatars" for strangers she met on neopets. my mom and paul did the six saltines in a minute thing last night. neither could do it. while making dinner, sylvia said, "shut up rice-cooker" i tried my mothers pimple acid. bullshit. i think my chinchilla is someone from school that turns into a rodent at night and watches me while i pee. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
11:57 pm	questions that kill moods 1. If I died, would you keep my skeleton in our bed like the old lady in that story from seventh grade? 2. If I jilted you, would you wear your wedding dress like the old lady in that Dickens book from ninth grade? 3. Do you know any orphans? 4. If I got herpes and you got crabs, would you trade with me? 5. Don't you feel that prefering masturbation to sex is like taking a shower rather than swim in a sea of gold? 6. If you were at a baseball game with your husband and coworkers' brother in law (who has downs) amd he started making a scene, would you say, " Fuck, you can be a total asshole and its ok because your retarted"? 7. Do you think my mom has better tit's than me? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005
12:00 am	queen pittsburg, what a gas! ah. i hate weeks. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
12:08 am	hi-di-ho! things that are untrue: - that white comedien guy (white being his last name) is dead. - it's really important to dress up like jim jones and get your picture taken in the sweltering school cafeteria. - that stuff mooshed into my bathroom floor is makeup, and not chinchilla poopies. - i like my new hair cut. - jello is easy to make. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
12:46 am	faking a lisp today, after my boyfriemd left, i stood in front of my refridgerator and shakily scooped jello into my mouth whilst saying " w-w-wh-y-y " and generally pretending i was java. the hut. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
6:30 pm	full bladder I am cancer free! and i didn't have to go to the appointment by myself, either. i don't think i have ever felt that kind of relief before. but there is blue jelly all over my clothes. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
12:18 pm	frock i dislike the midol commercial. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 29th, 2005
3:19 pm	some sort of ability ok, ok. man. what the fuck? i don't exactly believe in psychic powers but there must be some sort of energy... around me. oh whatever the heck, here's the list. - Jennifer Tunny twice in a day. I am watching some random movie, Shadow of Fear, on an indie channel. starring tunny. then, i turn to law and order where the same chick is playing a cop in a brief cameo. -Several days ago i see this strange eighties movie, Trust, on an indie channel. after it's over, i turn to watch law and order and the star girl of the movie has a big role in the episode. - Last weekend I mentioned Vic Morrow while having dinner with mandy's parents. I had not even thought of morrow in weeks, since hearing of the bad news bears remake. i found out later that night that it was the anniversary of the freak accident he was killed in. - A couple months ago i had this strange urge to watch Quills, the marquis de sade movie. i finally got around to watching it. the next afternoon i find out that i watched the movie on the anniversary of HIS death. -writing the script about potomac video closing the month before we found out it is closing. i think this is so poorly written because i am very excited. shit like this happens to me all the time. (Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
12:13 am	live or not so much live my mom was on the news today. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 21st, 2005
3:13 am	oh yoko for navid Zagottzianklghghgh Guide; Posing as an Earthling, Fabulously Chapter 18 Waste Management As you know, the animal is not nearly as efficient as we are when comparing the digestive systems. While Biounghghittttzian internally calculate the exact intake of rocks necessary to function, the lesser race must deposit any superfluous comestibles. Earthlings spend "minutes" of each "day" in this process, affectionately referred to as POOING. POOING, so long as one is prepared, is a very satisfactory human activity. A sense of accomplishment is brought about in the Earthling upon completing a POO. Indeed, POOS are impressive. Large coils of "shit" are dispensed from the underside of the body into porcelain receptacles designated for this purpose. [ take notice: I often find used prophylactics and lady hygienic materials in the porcelain receptacles. Should you need to dispose of such goods, I believe this is the appropriate place to do so.] The above note is speculative, but there are many certain facts every Biounghghittttzian must know about POOING in a public POO room as the need to discard extra materials can develop while "out on the town". 1) Humans find POO to have an unpleasant odor. The stench is often discussed by humans in a disgusted manner. However, Biounghghittttzian will find POO to smell similarly to our cantaloupe and will not feel repulsion after whiffing a POO. So, if you to smell cantaloupe, you should wave an upper appendage in front of your visage and feign discomfort. 2) POO rooms are not exclusively utilized as waste management facilities. Public rooms have become centers for the injection or insuffulation of narcotics. Although it may smell delicious, it is a poor idea to eat any white powder found in a public POO room. 3) The consumption of intoxicants was mentioned previously. There is a second common purpose for entering a stall in a public POO room: Oral Sex. Such terms as "cruisy" and "glory hole" often accompany the mention of Oral Sex in waste management rooms. More research must be completed before an accurate depiction of this practice can be made. There is another bodily function that goes "hand in hand" with POOING; URINATION, which is not nearly as exciting. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 14th, 2005
2:33 pm	"they" say i picked a bad name i took an ambien, but i feel fine. i am not having any trouble typing and i think my spelling is comparable to my everyday spelling. what magical power would you like to have? most of the public: invisibility me: the ability to drive a car the other nuts: ( after looking at me with disdain(and also the public)) the ability to fly, you dumb fucks me: (make palm slapping forehead motion) so like, i actually had this conversation. (2 Comments |Comment on this)